


What is a Tango?

by Leopardmask



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: 5+1, Comedy of Errors, Gen, Mostly Fluff, Non-human hermits - Freeform, Respawning is a thing that happens, Robot Tango, Robotic injury/surgery, Team ZIT shares a single brain cell, ambiguous season setting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:00:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26683333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leopardmask/pseuds/Leopardmask
Summary: Tango has never really kept his robotic nature a secret from anyone. He just kind of assumed Impulse and Zedaph would figure it out. Maybe he overestimated them.Or, five times Impulse and Zedaph are oblivious to the signs that their friend is a robot, and one time the evidence is impossible to miss.
Comments: 88
Kudos: 290





	1. What's With The Eyes?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beware of glowing eyes in dark places.

"Hey Zed," Tango called casually.

"Yeah?" Zed replied distractedly, holding a torch out to see the extent of the ravine he was looking out on.

"Don't fall!" Tango, a safe distance away, threw a pebble. It clattered next to Zedaph, making him flinch.

Zedaph rolled his eyes and turned to face his friend. "You want to come over- gah!" He started, almost fell on his butt, and swung his torch in Tango's general direction. Tango started laughing.

"Why are you just- _lurking_ there in the dark, man?" Zedaph complained. "All I can see is your eyes! I thought you were a spider for a second. Or like a really, really angry enderman." He stalked over and plunked a torch into the ground next to Tango.

This just made Tango laugh even harder. "Endermen don't even have red eyes, fool! They're purple, like yours!"

"Yeah," Zedaph scoffed. "That's why I said _really_ angry."

After a moment of both of them giggling, Zedaph realized, “I mean you could actually _be_ part spider for all I know. I’ve been wondering about the eye thing since we first met.”

“You could’ve just asked, man, you know that,” Tango told him.

“I didn’t think it would be polite!” Zed sputtered. “You don’t just _ask_ someone ‘hey, what’s up with your weird eyes’.”

“Well, you can ask me,” Tango said, spreading his arms.

“Alright then.” Zedaph adopted a comically formal pose, hands on his hips, and cleared his throat. “Hey Tango, what’s with the glowing red eyes?”

“Well, my good sir,” Tango began, “the answer to that- watch out!”

His warning came too late. The creeper that had snuck up on them detonated, taking Zedaph with it.

**Zedaph was blown up by Creeper**

<impulseSV> lol

<Zedaph> Darn it!

<Tango> Are you back at the cave entrance?

<Zedaph> I may have forgot to use the bed there before we started

<Zedaph> I’m at my base

Tango facepalmed, pocketed Zedaph’s fallen items, and headed back to return them to Zedaph. By the time he got there, their conversation in the cave had been all but forgotten.


	2. What's Wrong With a Little Thunder?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Electricity, rain, and redstone don't mix.

<impulseSV> Hey, you coming or not? Where are you?

<Tango> I’m in the Nether

<impulseSV> On your way, then?

<Tango> yeah for sure

<Tango> kinda

<Tango> okay, not really

<impulseSV> ?

<Tango> I got distracted with something I needed to do here?

<impulseSV> Where are you? I’ll meet you there and we can finish up together

Tango met Impulse on the Nether side of the shopping district portal. “Still storming out there, huh?” Tango asked, noting the steam rising off of Impulse’s clothes.

“Yeah, it’s a pretty crazy one,” Impulse laughed. “I had to dodge a charged creeper on the way! So what were you working on in here?”

Tango put one hand behind his head sheepishly. “Well... uh... I was...”

Impulse sighed. “You are a terrible liar. What are you  _ really _ doing in the Nether?”

“I... I don’t like thunderstorms, okay?” Tango blurted. “Lightning makes me nervous. I was hiding out in the Nether until the storm was done.”

Impulse bit back a laugh. “You’re scared of lightning? I mean... it hurts, yeah, but it’s so rare to actually get hit. And even if you do get hit it’s only bad for a few seconds.”

“Maybe for you it’s over quick,” Tango retorted. “Lightning messes me up so bad. Last time I got hit I was so twitchy I could barely do anything for  _ days. _ I couldn’t even talk, I was just stuttering every word. I don’t want to be anywhere near that ever again.”

“Geez,” Impulse murmured. “I had no idea, man. I’d never heard of it doing that to anyone before.”

“Yeah, well, guess I’m just special that way,” Tango huffed.

“Well, I’ll tell you what,” Impulse mused. “You can’t tell me that thunder isn’t still at least kind of cool. My portal is indoors, and I’ve got a spot in my base with a pretty good view outside. Want to hang out there for a while? Totally safe, I promise.”

Tango hesitated. “You sure? We were gonna work on some stuff...”

“I’m good with waiting out the storm before we start,” Impulse insisted. “Come on, it’ll be more interesting than wandering around this place for who knows how long.”

“Alright, man,” Tango relented. He smirked. “But you’re gonna have to hug me if it gets too scary.”

Impulse laughed and shoved Tango in the shoulder, then led the way to his own portal.

\-----

They sat in Impulse’s base in relative silence, watching nature’s show. Every so often they would ooh and ahh at a particularly impressive boom of thunder. Tango flinched at the first few, but Impulse’s calm hand on his shoulder reassured him, and soon he barely even blinked whenever a new lightning bolt flashed across the window.

As night fell and the storm still hadn’t subsided, Impulse rifled through his chests and pulled out an extra bed. Tango’s face lit up. “Dude, we having a sleepover?”

Impulse gestured at the window. “Not much of anywhere to go, right? Obviously there's a reason you aren't staying at your own base for this, so you might as well keep hanging out at mine.”


	3. What Was That Sound?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sound of a challenge.

Tango’s hand hovered over the lever. “Ready, Zeddy?”

Zedaph giggled and put his hands over his ears. “Ready!”

Tango pulled the lever. A chain reaction of TNT explosions went off, blasting a wide hole in the ground for their next project. He cheered, and the two of them high-fived.

“Hey look,” Zedaph laughed, pointing at the middle of the crater, where a ragged stone spire still stood. “We missed a bit.” He dropped down carefully, then scrambled up the spire to stand atop it. “Haha! I’m king of the... hole!”

“Not for long you aren’t!” Tango challenged, starting to climb the structure himself. Zedaph readied a defensive pose, and started shoving at Tango as he got close to the top. The two pushed back and forth for a few moments, but Zedaph had the uphill advantage, and persisted until Tango’s foot slipped. Tango fell all the way down to the base of the tower, where he landed on the bare stone with an echoing  _ clang. _

Zedaph poked his head over the edge to spot Tango about a dozen meters below. “You good down there? What on earth was that sound?” he chuckled. “You got a stack of iron blocks in your pocket or something?”

Tango tried to reply, but discovered that something he’d hit on the way down had left a rather large dent in his side, making it practically impossible to draw in enough air to speak. Instead, he simply flashed Zedaph a thumbs-up to signal he was okay. Zedaph laughed and went back to lording his king-of-the-hole status over him.

Tango would have laughed with him, but couldn't do that either. So he just grinned and climbed the rocks, while Zedaph strutted about on top.

He hid just below the top edge. When Zedaph got close, Tango reached out and grabbed his ankle, pulling him down. As Tango claimed his place at the top of the rocky spire, Zedaph hit the ground below with a quiet, but satisfying,  _ thud. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since Tango is redstone-powered, he doesn't need to breathe to survive. But he does have a simple respiratory mechanism so he can take in air to talk with.


	4. Why the Wiring?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Integrated gadgetry is cool.

Tango and Impulse were casually hanging out and chatting when Impulse's communicator went off, with the sound indicating a death. Both checked, out of habit.

"Zed," Impulse laughed. "Again- dude, what in the world-?"

Tango looked up in confusion, to find Impulse staring at him. Or rather, at his left arm, which he was holding in front of himself with a panel open to access his communicator screen wired in just underneath. "What?"

"Your arm, man, why is it like-" Impulse imitated the motion of the open panel. 

"It's just my communicator, dude." Tango turned his arm around to show it. "You've never seen me use it before?"

"Never paid attention, I guess," Impulse murmured, inspecting the setup with fascination and - oddly, to Tango - a hint of disgust. "So is it wired into your nerves or something? Why do you have it this way?"

"It's more convenient," Tango explained. "Hard to lose something that's attached to your arm. It also means I can do a couple things with it, especially some of the admin shortcuts, directly from my brain. Plus I just think it's cool."

“It is pretty cool,” Impulse laughed. “It just caught me off guard, you know? It’s not every day you just see someone open up their  _ arm _ like that. Does this mean you're part of the cyborg club?”

Tango shrugged. "I mean, I’m kind of an honorary member of the cyborg club for-”

Their communicators went off again. Impulse noted that Tango's was silent. Maybe its notifications also went directly to his brain?

Impulse wrinkled his nose. “That’s, like... the fourth time Zed has died in the past ten minutes. Should we check on him?”

“Nahhh,” Tango waved the thought off dismissively, then shut his arm panel. “He said he’d be experimenting today. We’ll wait until he asks.”


	5. Need a Leg Up?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tango makes some repairs.

Tango was sitting at his workbench, about to reach for a part, when Zedaph burst in. "Hey, Tango! I'm bored, you want to- oooh, what are you working on?"

Zedaph bounced over to the table and leaned over Tango's shoulder to get a better look. Tango smiled and held up his project: an artificial leg, humanoid except for the lack of skin covering the metal exterior. A number of panels were open or removed, showing the mechanisms inside.

Zedaph leaned closer, marveling at it. “Ooooooh, that’s incredible! Is this a leg?? Are you building a robot or something?”

Tango laughed at that. “Nahh, just making some repairs. Fell in a hole and landed really wrong.”

Zedaph rested his elbows on Tango’s shoulders. “Well, you want to take a break from that for a bit and help me with something?”

Tango shook his head. “Sorry, man, I pretty much have to finish this before I can go anywhere, you know?”

Zedaph nodded. “Right, right, gotta finish it in one go or it won’t get done properly, I totally understand. Mind if I watch?”

“As long as you aren’t in my way,” Tango grinned, elbowing his friend in the ribs. Zedaph laughed and stepped back to let Tango work.

The day dragged on as Tango inspected every actuator and wire. When Tango turned his attention to pounding the outer metal plates back into shape, Zedaph started pacing, and eventually wandered to the door. “Right then, uh... just meet me at my base when you’re done, okay?” Tango just nodded, absorbed in the work.

\-----

It didn’t take much longer to finish the repair work. Tango wrapped the skin analog back around it, then pushed himself away from the table with his other leg. He hesitated, braced himself, and shoved the repaired limb back into place, grimacing as the sensory circuits all reconnected at once. He stood up and tested his weight on it by walking a short lap around his workshop.

Everything seemed to be in working order, for which Tango was glad. He hated the sensory reconnect and would really rather not have to do it more often than necessary. Once he made sure everything was where it should be, he headed out to Zedaph’s base, to see what mischief Zedaph was getting him into this time.


	6. What's Doc Doing Today?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Impulse and Zedaph wander in on someone's appointment.

“Will you stop that?” Impulse laughed, as Zedaph started another lap around the room. “Maybe make yourself useful and help me with this redstone.”

Zedaph picked up a comparator and started fiddling with it, flicking the switch back and forth. “Your redstone isn’t ever any fun, though. I was going to go pester Tango today, but he’s  _ busy _ this morning.”

“I mean, you always have some wacky contraption in mind,” Impulse pointed out. “You don’t need either of us for those.”

“I am a redstone  _ artist, _ Impulse,” Zedaph huffed dramatically. “I have to have  _ inspiration _ before I actually work on a contraption.”

Impulse sighed and put away his redstone items. “You know, you do this every time Tango has a day like this. What  _ do _ you want to do today?”

Zedaph thought about that for a moment. “Wellllll... we could go pester someone  _ else _ for a while.”

Impulse chuckled and dusted off his hands. “Alright, let’s go see what kind of trouble we can get up to in the others’ bases.”

\-----

After plenty of wandering and exploring, the two finally found themselves at the entrance of Doc’s base. “Ooh, I don’t think I’ve ever even been here!” Zedaph exclaimed. “Doc’s always doing something interesting, let’s go see what we can find!”

Before Impulse could answer, Zedaph was already exaggeratedly tiptoeing inside.

After poking around in a few rooms with no luck (but some interesting finds), they started hearing sounds of activity. And not just any activity - the two redstoners recognized the subtle clinks and scrapes as the sounds of someone in a workshop.

Where there was a workshop, there were cool inventions, and where there were noises, there was Doc. They followed the sounds.

The door to the room the sounds were coming from had been left wide open, so Impulse and Zedaph peeked inside. Doc’s back was to the door. He hadn’t noticed them yet, and he was so engrossed in his work that he didn’t hear them step further inside to snoop.

That’s when they noticed that Doc’s project was suspiciously human-shaped. Legs dangled off one end of the table, and a hand draped over the side. At one end they could make out a shock of blond hair... and a familiar face. The eyes were dark and lifeless, but there was no mistaking what color they should be.

Red.

“Tango??” Zedaph blurted out.

Doc looked up, then turned around and smiled at them. “Oh, hey guys! You’re here a little early. I still have a few things to finish up-” He registered their shocked expressions. “...You didn’t know he was even here, did you?”

“We had no idea,” Impulse replied. “What’s he doing here?”

Zedaph craned his neck around to see better, then recoiled at the sight of the large open panel in Tango’s chest. After a moment, his curiosity got the better of him, and he drew close again, peeking in at the exposed mechanisms. Doc hovered nearby, letting Zedaph look, but not touch. To Impulse, Doc said, “He’s just here for some regular maintenance. Like I said, I’m almost done.”

Zedaph, as if he’d had a big revelation, turned to stare at Doc. “You’re making an evil robot clone of Tango!!”

Doc gave him a long-suffering look.

Impulse sighed. “Zed...” he explained. “I think that  _ is _ Tango.”

“...Oh.”

“I’m a little surprised you didn’t know,” Doc said, carefully brushing red dust off a servomotor and putting it back in place. “I don’t think he really keeps it a secret, you know?”

“It just never came up, I guess,” Impulse admitted. “But now that you mention it...”

“It’s pretty obvious, come to think of it,” Zedaph realized. “Like not THAT obvious, but... anyway, now that the initial shock and awe is worn off, I want to see what’s going on!”

Doc moved to one side to let Impulse and Zedaph see the intricate mechanisms and circuits that kept Tango running. “Whoaaaa,” Impulse gasped. “This is really cool!”

“Isn’t he though?” Doc replied, more than a hint of pride in his voice. “Bionics and living redstone has been possible for a while, of course -” he gestured at his own mechanical arm - “but as far as I know there aren't many AIs like Tango out there.”

“I mean...” Impulse pointed out, “there’s certainly no one in the worlds quite like Tango, huh?” Zedaph nodded in agreement.

"Here, I'll show you a bit of what I'm doing," Doc offered. "You are his closest friends, you should know a bit about how he works. In case something goes wrong, you know?"

Doc talked as he brushed away loose redstone, explaining how all the different systems worked together. "That box there," he explained, pointing at a shape deep in Tango's chest, "is what produces power for him. The equivalent of his heart. This is just a basic checkup, so I'm not messing with that today. Except for this button -" he showed Impulse a small, well-shielded button on the bottom of the box - "which is what will wake him up again."

“Wow,” Impulse marveled. “Is he all ready?”

“Yep,” Doc confirmed. “Would one of you guys like to do the honors?”

Both of their eyes lit up. Zedaph clapped. “Ooh, ooh, can I press the button? Can I? I want to turn Tango on!”

Impulse smirked and raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure about that, Zed? Do you really now?” he asked teasingly.

Doc laughed. Zedaph flushed, realizing what he’d said. He recovered quickly, though, and turned indignantly toward Impulse. “And so what if I do?” he inquired, hands on his hips, trying and failing to keep a straight face.

Impulse gestured at the workbench. “Well, don’t let me stop you,” he laughed.

Zedaph stepped up to Tango. His finger hovered over the button. He glanced at Doc for confirmation; Doc nodded. Excitedly, Zedaph pressed Tango’s power button.

Tango’s eyes brightened to life, shining steadily as he raised his head slightly to look around. Doc stepped in to close and fasten the chest panel, as Tango focused on his friends. “Hey guys! This is a surprise,” he commented.

“Likewise,” Impulse answered sheepishly. “We didn’t actually... know where you were. We just kind of... stumbled on this.”

Tango looked from one to the other and back again. “Waaaaaait a minute. You had no clue, did you?” He snickered. “I can see it in your faces! You fools had no idea! You thought I was human or something!”

“Well, maybe not  _ human, _ per se,” Zedaph amended, “but...”

“We, uh... did kind of assume you were... organic, like us,” Impulse admitted.

Tango burst out laughing. Doc gave him an annoyed look, still trying to secure the access panel properly. “Can you maybe have this discussion once you’re off my bench?”

So they waited, for just a minute more, as Doc finished putting the last screws in place. By the time Tango sat up and reached to put his shirt back on, Zedaph was practically vibrating with impatience, and even Impulse was shifting from foot to foot, bursting with questions.

They asked plenty of those questions before they even left Doc’s base: mostly technical questions, of course, about how Tango’s mechanisms and circuits worked and how he could seem so human. Eventually, a bigger question came up.

“So...” Impulse asked, “Since you were - presumably - created by another player... who was it?”

“Honestly?” Tango replied. “No idea. I think that bit of my memory cells got messed up, a long time ago. All I know is that I was kinda just told to go do my own thing, have fun, live life. Maybe they decided they’d feel guilty if they didn’t let me be... human.”

\-----

Doc leaned against the doorway, watching the three friends joke and chatter as they left for home. A grin tugged at his face. It was gratifying, seeing Tango interact with everyone as if nothing was different about him. Doc counted himself lucky to find himself in the same world, even if he was just the repair guy now.

Certainly, a job well done.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
